Piers poor value

Speaking at the CII gala dinner, the former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan made an astonishing revelation which managed to silence the floor. He was once a Lloyd's clerk.

The tabloid editor, who has capitalised from his disgraced exit from the Mirror, told diners his character did not fit with the cut throat tactics of the London market.

He admitted knowing little about the subject on which he was expected to talk. And proceeded with stories about his turbulent relationship with his businessman boss.

In a room full of wealthy businessmen Backchat advises never to publicly bite the hand which feeds.

It is unlikely to create even the slightest murmur of a chuckle on the floor.