Guy Browning takes a sideways look at insurance jargon

E is for . . .

Endowment assurance - A smug feeling that you'll look good in your swimming trunks

Enhanced ordinary charges - Little electric shock you sometime get opening the car door

Escalator clause - A clause that stipulates the carrying of dogs and standing to the right

Escrow - What your boss's name looks like when he signs a document

Ex gratia payment -Money you pay your first wife to keep her sweet

Excess line broker - Someone really disruptive in line dancing

Executrix - Small vacuum cleaner for use in the office

Expected value - The Christmas present you're hoping to get

Experience rating -The Christmas present you end up getting

Experience refund - Taking back Christmas presents

Expense loading - Director's credit card statement

Expiry - Slightly alcoholic breath you can smell in the lift after lunch

Exposure - Flashy new clothes your ex buys to show they're better off without you

Express warranty - The guarantee that when you need to do something in a hurry, you'll get it wrong

Expression of wish form - Very crude love letter

Expropriation - Divorce settlement where your entire property disappears

External member - A Lloyd's underwriter with his flies undone