Bailee - A smooth drink favoured by insurance brokers' secretaries
Bearer - policy Code of conduct for naturists
Betterment - An old fashioned boiled sweet sold in round tins
Blanket - policy The rule by which women claim 90% of the duvet
Bonded warehouse - A brothel specialising in tying people up
Bonus loading - The mechanism by which your boss's bonus is always bigger than yours, however incompetent he is
Bourse Full - fat, soft cheese from Belgium
Broker - Someone who will sell to you until you are broke
Capital additions clause - A supplement reflecting the high cost of living in London
Capture and seizure - What happens when you try to pick up a pen under your desk with your toes
Carnet - A low fat ice cream in a wafer
Catastrophe hazard - What happens after apprehensive period when you discover you've sent the e-mail to entire company
Caveat Emptor - Old style broker who wears cravat and talks rather pompously
Cedent Adhesive - paste that secures dentures
Certificate of insurance - The piece of paper that is stored so carefully you can't find it
Chattels Nasty - rash you get from too much underwriting
Churning Jokes - that your boss tells over and over again (see Accrued Interest)
Claims Adjuster - The tendency of your partner to spoil your best stories by introducing facts
Clawback Desperate - but futile attempts to unsend dodgy e-mail
Closed Fund - The petty cash tin when you're desperate
Combined Liability - Policy Marriage certificate
Commutation - How brokers get from their homes to their offices
Compound Reversionary Bonus - The tiny little bit that's left after your boss has had his bonus
Consolidated Option - The decision not to go to the gym and stay in the sofa
Consortium - The last remaining liquorices in the box that no-one likes
Contingency Fund - Petty Cash
Contingent Survivorship Assurance - The promise you make to pay back the petty cash tin on pain of death
Contract of Adhesion - The shrinkage that makes your pants stick during hot weather
Contributory Negligence - A form of long nightwear designed to excite men
Cooling-off period - What men require after removal of Contributory Negligence
