It’s official: coffee is potentially harmful.
Research by Allianz Engineering, which also brought us “why cement is sticky” and “watch out – it’s a JCB”, has shown that half of the boilers in London’s limitless array of coffee shops are not only hazardous, but could quite literally explode at any moment.
That equates to more than 500 machines potentially ready to blow.
“Catastrophic failure of a non-inspected boiler,” warns the insurer, is a menace to our caffeine-guzzling society.
“We queue up for our morning coffee without a thought as to whether the machine in front of us is safe to use,” says Phil Wright, chief engineer – and alleged drinker of 17 espressos before breakfast.
“Although outwardly they look fine, they could cause considerable damage if not looked after properly.”
Presumably he’s talking about disgruntled punters, foaming at the mouth at the prospect of going without the good stuff, instead of the proverbial nozzles.
Indeed, health and safety is all well and good, but who would dare stand between a Londoner and his venti gingerbread latte with nuts on top?
It’s enough to give anyone heart palpitations.