As I sit at my desk my mind wanders To a beach in a far distant landWhere I sit in a comfortable sun chair With a large G&T in my hand.I think back to the days I was eager To get into the office at dawn

Now the fun has all gone, legislation grinds on And I'd rather be cutting the lawn.No more fights with thick-skinned underwriters.Or claims helplines who haven't a clueNo more frustrating telephone switchboards Designed so I'll never get through.

But there's light at the end of the tunnel And I sit and smile, and then laugh. All the aggro's finally behind me So I'll go to the pub for a quaff.

Now you'll wonder what's happened to Moggy?Has he gone off his head or been fired?No my friends, I've just come to my senses I've sold up the firms and RETIRED.

Ivan Bevan-Mogg