Saturday morning and Backchat is shopping in the local mobile phone retailer. After getting utterly lost by the range of mobiles on offer and then pole-axed by the packages that go with them, finally some safer ground - the insurance.

"The phone has a 12-month parts warranty, but you might want to take out insurance as well," explains the eager sales assistant, unaware that Backchat's heart beats to the rhythm of the insurance cycle. "If your phone gets stolen or lost you just get a crime number from the police and we will replace it," the assistant explained.

"Stolen or lost?" Backchat innocently inquired.

"Yeah, stolen or lost, get a crime number and you are fixed," comes the reply.

Persistent and honest as always, Backchat points out: "But surely losing a phone isn't a crime."

The reply? "Well no, not strictly, but then they aren't to know it wasn't stolen, are they? I know. I've done it."