Guy Browning takes a sideways look at insurance jargon

T is for
Tariff company - A band of wandering Welsh Musicians

Tariff rate -The amount of money you have to pay to stop the Tariffs singing

Ten-to-one policy - Cover against getting involved in a game show Tender bond Holding hands

Terminal bonus - Unexpected delight when train arrives on time

Third party insurance - Cover against waking up to find you've become a Liberal Democrat

Top-slicing - Preparing carrots for boiling

Tort - Small Austrian pastry

Tortfeasor - Fat Austrian with weakness for torts

Trade losses - Swapping divorce settlement horror stories

Transfer club - Difficult procedure where caddy passes golf club to pissed broker

Trapping risks - Necessity of concentrating while doing up flies

Tret - Mild Russian expletive

U is for
Ullage - Kissing with tongues

Ultra vires - Premium condom

Umpire - Vegetarian vampire

Unfair calling cover - Dog trained to attack Jehovah's witnesses

Unlicensed reinsurance - Reinsurance brokers who don't drink (rare)

Uplift - What a Wonderbra does for women physically and men emotionally

Utmost good faith - Legendary American preacher

V is for
Variance - Prototype for the Triumph Herald

Vesting - Chucking in insurance broking and becoming a labourer

Voluntary excess - Stag night