Observer Airmic guide offers challenging tips

The Observer Magazine this week offered some handy hints as to how to survive the Airmic conference. Below are Backchat's favourite five entries:

1. Write conference directions, then `I am lying' in tiny letters below. When challenged, say: "Didn't you read the small print?"

2. Rob cash from head of Direct Line's room. If challenged, grab a delegate and say: "I am at risk. Will you manage it?"

3. Ask delegates: "Is it sensible having all the country's risk managers in one hall at the same time?"

4. Torch the hall wearing a white beard. Tell them they're not covered, it was an Act of God. If challenged, say: "I am God."

5. Protest at an insurance company being called Churchill. After all, he ate too much, smoked and encouraged fighting.