The news is what you make of it

Silly season is in full swing – and as far as salacious rumours, nefarious plotting and utterly inane information goes, it could prove to be one of the most ridiculous on record.

If poaching scandals, foiled acquisitions and hardening markets are not to everyone's taste, this summer has at the very least provided more than ample scope for wordplay, and a steady stream of flood-related fodder for the nationals.

On the scale of absurdity, however, it is still fair to say we haven’t got a patch on our friends across the Atlantic.

That said, some are doing their damndest to catch up. Public liability for one appears to have gone quite insane.

Tesco (obviously not busy enough with the perpetual postponement of the launch of its aggregator) ruthlessly burst the bubble of Sheffield's Baloney the clown by insisting he refrain from blowing – the reason being otherwise enchanted might children slip and fall over. His balloons suffered a similar fate because of potentially allergic reactions to latex.

One has to wonder if the supermarket giant will eventually end up being sued by irate parents for accelerating the onset of childhood depression.

Meanwhile, ploughing through the hazy throng of emails bristling with words like “service”, “relationships” and “service” again, Marsh provided me with a real gem (or in this case, diamonds) having announced a “working relationship” with leading diamond broker, Driesassur. It is an aptly vague description, and indeed quite fitting for this time of year.

But there is always one offering that puts all others to shame.

Of all the whipping boys in the industry, no one gets in the neck quite like the FSA. The piece entitled “Martian Luddites are running Retail Financial Services,” brought untold joy to an erstwhile fretful Tuesday afternoon, even if the content itself was nigh-on impenetrable.

That's also quite fitting for this time of year.

The content, that is. Fretful Tuesday afternoons come as standard.