Attendees at the world’s tenth plank-walking world championships in Sheppey, Kent, were befuddled when its insurers insisted that participants be informed that there was a risk they “may get wet”.

Of equal (but potentially more harmful) incredulity was the rule of the competition stating that contestants be “able to swim”.

“It’s a sign of the times,” the event’s organiser lamented. Presumably he wasn’t talking about a rampant horde of wannabe Jack Sparrows pretending they had been born 300 years ago.