Soon to be featuring on a bargain shelf near you is a new boxset from Lloyd's, released as part of the Trafalgar bicentenary.

The lavish set features booklets focusing on Nelson's life, letters and collection of silver, as well as a DVD showcasing the quite mesmerically tedious One Lime Street premiere of Walking on Water, a "hybrid visual and musical production" by Peter Greenaway and David Lang.

Anyone familiar with Greenaway's oeuvre will not be surprised by the film's typically impenetrable mix of arty shots of the Lloyd's building interspersed with shimmering water scenes and scrolled lyrics culled from Moby Dick, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and The Tempest.

The libretto is rounded off by the couplet: "And I only am escaped to tell thee/A sadder and a wiser man"...sentiments close to Backchat's heart after sitting through this tosh.