I don't know what Sandy McArthur (front-page story) looks like, but I bet he resembles Kirk Douglas. With a slight squint (and a large pinch of salt) I can see Simon Bolam as Tony Curtis: the film is a modern-day Spartacus.
The brokers, who do all the work but take all the abuse, have been pushed around for too long. Eventually, a leader emerges, who is prepared to stand up to the tyrants. And when the evil Romans try to quell the rebellion they demand that leader as scapegoat.
Fearless, he stands up. "I'm Spartacus," he says. "No! I'm Spartacus," comes the next voice, followed by a chorus of others. It starts with Douglas and Curtis (or McArthur and Bolam, in this screenplay), but they are soon swamped by their comrades in arms prepared to fight side-by-side for justice (from insurers).
It is a glorious image.
But the film buffs among you will know that the original 1960s classic ends with all the slaves crucified on the Apian Way.
This not a prospect Insurance Times welcomes.
But something must be done about the complaints McArthur and Bolam raise. Why are insurers so desperate to undermine brokers? Why will insurers write unprofitable business just to attract customers away from sales points where they might get independent advice and a friend to support them if they make a claim?
Technology does make it cheaper, but these very same insurers are not offering cheaper quotes through some intermediaries' websites, only their own, blowing away much of the cost argument.
The problem is that brokers are divided. Far from being the brave, bare-chested heroes of Spartacus, Biba, the IIB and the AIIB appear to be more like the various popular fronts of Judea in Monty Python's Life of Brian. They vent more vitriol about each other than they do about the insurers. With a united front they might just be able to enter into a sensible dialogue with insurers.
After all, what have insurers ever done for us?